Rant 3: How to Force Religion down peoples throat.

I've decided I'm going to start treating everything like most religions treat themselves. That is to say, sitting myself on a glorious throne of obvious double standard, but threatening people with eternal amounts of pain if they point out the double standard.

For example, every day conversation will go like:

ME: I like McDonald's.
PERSON: I prefer Burger King.
ME: Oh my Big Mac! Heretic! You'll burn in a sea of round tater-tots for that heresy!
PERSON: Uh. I'm going to move over here n-
ME: Oh, moving because I prefer McDonald's, Eh!? That's discrimination!
PERSON: I, whoa-
ME: Excuse me, I have to go give a pile of Whoppers freezer burn, and burn down an in-construction Burger King.
PERSON: But you just yelled at me for des-
ME: Shut up, I'm better because my government says so.
PERSON: ...

Now, any sane person would have maced me by the fourth sentence. Why doesn't this concept apply to religion? It seems like every single bit of it is riddled with hypocrisy and double-standards.

And you know what they say. If it smells like rotten chicken, looks like rotten chicken, and tastes like rotten chicken, its probably rotten chicken. The same method applies to hypocrisy. And double standards. And other rotten meat-based product.

Another analogy is the infamous "Well their religion is violent because they cause terrorism!" . This one has been especially inflamed with the recent 9-11 Mosque debates, along with other Mosque buildings.

Time for another "Learn your Words", class!

Terrorism is: The calculated use of violence against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.

I wish I could draw Venn Diagrams on Blogger, I really do. But a List is the next best thing.

CHRISTIANS:
Have their government's
support (For the most part,
even though most won't
come right out and say it.)
Preformed violent crusades for 200 years against the Islamic Faith.

BOTH:
Burn down religious buildings.
Burn religious books.
Burn images of the opposing religions prophet.
Have caused years of violence and bloodshed in the past, present, and probable future.

MUSLIMS:
Generally have their government's support in book burning.
Were beaten and discriminated by Christians during the Crusader Possession of The Holy Land between 1095 and 1291. However, this was technically the Catholic Church's doing, but at this time period the Catholics and Christians are somewhat like two religions in the same house, arguing about toppings on pizza. Or, a lot of Christians today are confused about their own religion, because all of the ones I know boast about how they "Totally kicked their ass in the Crusades."

In short:
Both religions have been A-holes to each other since the dawn of time, and will probably continue to be. Until one can be the bigger man and say "Hey, our religion's biggest areas are on virtually opposite sides of the globe. Why not just.. stop violently fighting each other?"


Granted, the other will probably burn down that ones village or draw a picture of his prophet, and then the whole thing starts all over again.

I'm developing a new religion. Werewolf in Londoianity. We sit around and watch 80's horror movies, and then attack people who prefer 00's horror movies about why ours is better.
We frequently burn copies of the new Halloween movie.