Why? A document involving questioning of various God-Theories of Singluar God religions: Prologue

Hello there. Today I'm here to talk about International Terrorism.

More specifically, why religion is a form of International Terrorism, and even more specifically: Why Westboro Church needs to be in a prison.

"Whats that?" you ask? Well, lets look at a broad term:

As defined by Google Dictionary: "terrorism practiced in your own country against your own people."

Lets target that a little more by defining just what terrorism itself is.

"the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear" (Definition from Princeton)

At their core, religions aim to garner followers they believe they are 'saving'. They did this, in the dark ages, by the edge of the sword and by religious leaders tipping their hands in politics to garner forced respect and obedience-- And people were more than willing to buy into it when silver-tongued preachers and prophets warn them that hell was the price to pay if obscure, self-serving rules to the church were not heeded.

Already, Religion is using the fear of pain and suffering of themselves and loved ones, if people do not flock to the church, giving money and other materials as "Tithe", or "giving back" to God. Assuming God, an all-powerful, all-knowing being that can communicate with man at will as seen with Noah and Moses and countless other cases in the old testament, you would think that this being would be capable of more than appeasing his prophets and preachers and missionaries.

And following this. Again, assuming that this being is an all powerful and all knowing creature:

• What created him? Where did he come from?
• Why is he the only one?
• Why is it is assumed he is male? or does he even have gender?
• Why can he not make himself known
• Why do his prophets have to rely on fear-mongering and false choice fallacies to convince people to worship him/her/it?

I'm choosing to look at the last item on this list first, since it pertains more to the statement I made at the start of the blog more than any other: Why do prophets use fear-mongering and false choice fallacy to convince people to worship.

And more to that point: Does this deity, again assuming it exists, even allow fear-inspired worshipers into his 'Paradise'? I assure you if you remove a majority of 'Muslims' from forced Islam nations, there would be at least some that said they only worshiped because they were forced to under the threat of the gun.

But, why would he? Because a prophet said 'Worship or die', and they chose living in fear rather than dying painfully? This is not a true worshiper, if anything, its heretical. However: Most religions don't point out the fact that their religion was spread by fear; and they themselves worship due to fear. Therefore, they have become terrorists- People who demand change out of individuals or the masses by fear of everlasting pain and violence.

They worship due to fear of hell. I'll end this prologue of whats to come with a quote from the late George Carlin:

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more."

-George Carlin

I don't accept Mediocrity, and neither should you.

You know what I hate?

I hate when mediocre people become famous for being mediocre, and more so, I hate the people that allow their children to look up and idolize these steaming piles of 'meh'.

You know who I'm talking about. Basically any singer in the 'Pop' genre today (Bieber, Willow Smith, Rebecca Black, ETC), a majority of Teen authors, most Rap artists...

The stream of mediocrity never ends.




I don't like to brag. I'm not a braggy person. But I consider myself a halfway decent author. And when I read the Twilight books- Yes, I read them, because unlike a majority of people, I read before I go BARGLTBLTBOKBATNATNA TURRIBLE. Anyway. During my reading of these books, I kept trying to figure out what was going on; I had no idea of the plot, etc.

It was the strangest thing, all the pages just said 'ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST'. I would rather read a book written by a Moose than read Twilight again. And that's saying something, because I hate moose.

What I'm getting at is: Stephenie Meyer can't write.

Hatred Safari: 'Scene'

I hate everyone. You know this, because you are here, reading this. If you didn't know this, you're probably one of today's topic: Scene.







Scene kids are, by definition:







"Obnoxious bitches that make Alex want to punch them in the face, burn them with a Torch, and stomp on their stomach until they cry and renounce their ways."







(Okay, that may only be my definition. It's still true.)







So, on today's Safari, we're going to examine a Scene kid. I sent a good friend out onto the field. We found only his journal:






6:00 AM: The scene kid Wakes up, and promptly applies as much Abecrombie and Finch cologne as he can without making himself tear up. He promptly considers how god damn Rad and Rebellious he is, not using Hollister cologne like everyone else.







9:00 AM: After three hours of doing jack-shit, The scene Kid wanders down stairs to fetch food. He promptly tells his mother how 'Conformist and Sheeple' she is for eating something that came from an animal.







He promptly eats a Bagel. Made with Egg Whites. Spineless Parent fails to point out this irony. I make note to do so for her when I am running over the Scene animal later.







11:00 AM: From 9:15 AM - 11:00 AM the Scene animal spends time on his looks. He looks something that just had a flailing fit of rage in a Tacky Clothes store. His jeans are so tight, I can tell everything in his pockets from glancing at him. He met his Dog outside. I mean Girlfriend.

She also has a horrible Spray Tan. I am frightened, for if I am discovered, I may be eaten, or worse.

2:00 PM: My God. They've been in Hot Topic for hours.

4:00 PM: So hungry.

6:00 PM: they are never leavi--

The journal of our Field Reporter ends here.

I am unsure what happened. But I am terrified.

I later caught up with a Scene Kid, and asked her if she had ever heard 'The Beatles'

She responded as below.

"Whats The Beatles?"

I responded as any sane man would. With a swift back-hand and a demand back to the kitchen. She cried a lot, but I'm sure it was just tears of joy with being enlightened. One of her sissy-friends tried to man-slap me, but I kicked him in the nuts and ran. I'm pretty sure the tautness of his pants made one pop.

The good news is, we can all understand the fact that Scene Kids do have a weakness. Any sign of physical violence will make them cry, call you a 'Violent Sheeple' and run to their Dads. Who, if they have a spine, will punch them in the face if they're male, and tell them to get a job. If they're female, their mothers will do this.

For the sake of Political Correctness.

On another note, before I leave you all. If another person tells me 'OH MY GOD LOL OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IZ FAEEEEEK' , I will punch them in the testicles. You have been warned. Just because he sucks as a President, doesn't make his Birth Cirtificate fake.

Herp.

Introducing the New State: The Midwest.

Warning: Contains sarcasm. Emails or comments describing why they aren't actually one big state, will be dragged into the next blog, and made fun of across the land.



















Have I ever mentioned how I think we have too many states?





Take for instance the Midwest. North Dakota, South Dakota, Kansas, Oklahoma, all that.









Why aren't they just one big state? They all produce basically the same product: Crops. What little tourism there is, is generated by people stopping at Gas Stations on their way to more interesting states, like Nevada, Hippie-Land, or North Mexico (Called by their Provinces, Arizona and New Mexico.)









To prove my point, here's a fancy diagram:

Yeah, you see that?

I got images now. Soon, its going to be charts and graphs.

As I was saying. Everything from the FAIL line, until Nevada, excluding Texas and North Mexico, shall become part of the new state: The Midwest. It can have such exciting tourist attractions as:

Mountains!
Rivers!
Corn!
Other Growing Stuff! (Literally watch it grow!)

Speaking of useless states, what is Alaska doing right now? Nothing, that's what. Nothing but hoarding its oil and biding its time, until it can slip out the door with no one noticing, like the guy who takes the last box of pizza at a party.

I've done research on this. The reason we aren't drilling for the oil is because apparently, there's a Protected Range there. It protects Caribou. Quite possibly the most useless animal in the world.

Do you know what Caribou are used for?

Jack. Shit.

Have you ever walked into somewhere and bought Caribou Steak? Caribou Legs? No. Because no one eats Caribou- At least, not the ones we're protecting. So we're protecting an animal that does nothing but sit on its fat rear all day and enjoy Federal protection.

Screw that. Lets drill the oil. And the Caribou with it.

I hate everything: Racisim, and how it works.

If you came here expecting herp-dilly derps galore, and mostly comedy, you came to the wrong place.

Shits going to get deep, Yo.


I hate everything, if you couldn't tell that already.

However, there are some things I hate more than others. To clarify, here's a small chart.

1: Puppies.
2: Unicorns.
3: Baby Laughter.
4: Dogs.
5: Cats.
6: Your face.
7: Your mom.
8: Your mom's face.
9: Politics that I can't make fun of
10: People against discrimination that, in attempting to thwart discrimination, cause discrimination.

I'm going to be talking about number 10 today: The thing I hate the most.

Everyone has causes. I recently signed up for causes on The Facebooks, such as "Join this group to stop drunken fathers from beating small boxes of brain-eating aliens that make people understand common sense."

Okay, not really, but it sounded good. I may have to start that one.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that people often to see the long-range consequences of their actions: That is to say, take a look at the following situation I recently heard a friend suggest:
"Well, us black people are always offended by you white people, so we should make a bar or something that only black people can come in."

Time for another vocabulary lesson, kids.

Discrimination, when talking about a service: The refusal of a service based on race, sex, or religion, or any other belief, lifestyle, etc that a person may or may not have.

That is to say, racism works both ways. Even though a majority won't want to hear it, racism, sexism, intolerance of all kind works both ways.

"Why can't people realize this, Alex?"

To put it simply: Non-Racist people can't realize that discrimination works both ways because of racism.

Am I saying everyone is racist? No. I'm saying that its a natural, instinct to put the race that we're from on a pedestal. It has been for years, in hundreds and thousands and millions of species. Just like we put ourselves on top. Just like lions are superior to house cats.

The only issue is that lions will maul a house cat to death to prove this point. We, as humans, won't. That, and we may be the only species where all our different types actually are balanced. We all have our strength and weaknesses- as individuals. No one race has any other trait better than another race, and no one is weaker than other races.

However, due to instinct, we all see ourselves better than others: Because we all strive to be. Every person in the world can act as their own country: Vying for power- physically, politically, in any way- for more allies in friends, for more money, for better cars to prove we're better than our enemies, and even friends.

Because in nature, we're all animals. We all want to be the superior animal. We want to be the top dog, the alpha male. Thustly, we put ourselves on a pedestal.

And when defined by race, we put ourselves in a pedestal. Because that's how the world works.


And finally, we look to small periods of time; to truces where the world works better than other times. Where everyone understands this law. Holidays mark these times; and we manage to control it, for the most part.

But when that ends, its right back to the mill of secretly, sub-consciously hating everyone that isn't us.

And that's why I hate everything, because its instinct.

So here's to another new year of bringing you the biggest derpity-derp things that enter my mind, and tings that just generally rub me the wrong way;

Alex Stevens, signing off until 2011. Hugs and Kisses.

I'm just kidding. Kicks and punches.

Rant 3: How to Force Religion down peoples throat.

I've decided I'm going to start treating everything like most religions treat themselves. That is to say, sitting myself on a glorious throne of obvious double standard, but threatening people with eternal amounts of pain if they point out the double standard.

For example, every day conversation will go like:

ME: I like McDonald's.
PERSON: I prefer Burger King.
ME: Oh my Big Mac! Heretic! You'll burn in a sea of round tater-tots for that heresy!
PERSON: Uh. I'm going to move over here n-
ME: Oh, moving because I prefer McDonald's, Eh!? That's discrimination!
PERSON: I, whoa-
ME: Excuse me, I have to go give a pile of Whoppers freezer burn, and burn down an in-construction Burger King.
PERSON: But you just yelled at me for des-
ME: Shut up, I'm better because my government says so.
PERSON: ...

Now, any sane person would have maced me by the fourth sentence. Why doesn't this concept apply to religion? It seems like every single bit of it is riddled with hypocrisy and double-standards.

And you know what they say. If it smells like rotten chicken, looks like rotten chicken, and tastes like rotten chicken, its probably rotten chicken. The same method applies to hypocrisy. And double standards. And other rotten meat-based product.

Another analogy is the infamous "Well their religion is violent because they cause terrorism!" . This one has been especially inflamed with the recent 9-11 Mosque debates, along with other Mosque buildings.

Time for another "Learn your Words", class!

Terrorism is: The calculated use of violence against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.

I wish I could draw Venn Diagrams on Blogger, I really do. But a List is the next best thing.

CHRISTIANS:
Have their government's
support (For the most part,
even though most won't
come right out and say it.)
Preformed violent crusades for 200 years against the Islamic Faith.

BOTH:
Burn down religious buildings.
Burn religious books.
Burn images of the opposing religions prophet.
Have caused years of violence and bloodshed in the past, present, and probable future.

MUSLIMS:
Generally have their government's support in book burning.
Were beaten and discriminated by Christians during the Crusader Possession of The Holy Land between 1095 and 1291. However, this was technically the Catholic Church's doing, but at this time period the Catholics and Christians are somewhat like two religions in the same house, arguing about toppings on pizza. Or, a lot of Christians today are confused about their own religion, because all of the ones I know boast about how they "Totally kicked their ass in the Crusades."

In short:
Both religions have been A-holes to each other since the dawn of time, and will probably continue to be. Until one can be the bigger man and say "Hey, our religion's biggest areas are on virtually opposite sides of the globe. Why not just.. stop violently fighting each other?"


Granted, the other will probably burn down that ones village or draw a picture of his prophet, and then the whole thing starts all over again.

I'm developing a new religion. Werewolf in Londoianity. We sit around and watch 80's horror movies, and then attack people who prefer 00's horror movies about why ours is better.
We frequently burn copies of the new Halloween movie.

Rant 2: HOW I SPEAKY DA ENGRISH?

Okay. You're planning a trip to Italy. You're getting your baggage together, checking plane tickets, and got the Rosetta Stone: Italian, or even scheduled group Italian classes, if you're really into it and don't want bare-minimum communication.

Or if you're planning to live there.

Now here's how the average foreigner decides to move to the US.

"Clothes, Plane Tickets, My Own language because America is supposed to be a cultural crock-pot and I'm sure everyone over there speaks the same language as I do. Derp. Derpity-derp Herp."

So they fly over, step out of the airport, and then...

Babble away at someone for five minutes in their language, asking how to get somewhere. Then yell at us in their language for being rude for not telling them.

"But ALEX, EVERYONE DESERVES FREEDOM."
No. No one deserves freedom. Just like none of us deserve to live here, rather than North Korea. Living here is a Privilege.

For the group that will inevitably start screaming on my blog / whining at me in real life that living here is a Right, lets think for a moment.

A privilege is enjoying access or ability of something that others don't or can't.

A right is something that, morally or legally, is supposed to be supplied to someone.

We are not morally or legally bound to let anyone that wants in the country in.

And don't get me started on the ones that get jobs.

There should be a new law in the US. If a manager has a choice between hiring a person that doesn't speak English, or a English-speaker, they should be required to pick the GOD DAMN ENGLISH SPEAKER.

Unless its a doctor, or something important. Fast Food workers would be the good majority that this law applies to.

Now, before people start screaming about how I'm racist, and shouldn't live here if I don't like merging of culture.

Not so. I love other culture, I love Japanese culture, I love Spanish culture, and I have a special place in my heart for foreign food and ways of art. But its the Merging part these people seem to be having a trouble with.

I'm okay with cultural pride. Except when your Culture refuses to let you learn any other language, or do things extreme in normal society; IE, and this is just a top of the head thing, a fresh-off-the-boat Iraqi immigrant falling to the ground in prayer. When someone falls to the ground, its our natural reaction to panic.

I don't care if you pray. Just do it in a damn church. Mosque. Elvis Presley's Pray 'n Pay. Don't care, just not in the middle of the sidewalk or restaurant, please.

Now note, this isn't just for those of the Muslim faith. If I see you on your hands and knees, I don't care if your Christian, Jewish, Islam, Old Egyptian Gods, Wiccan, or whatever.

But if you're on your hands and knees praying to your believed power, I'm going to step on you in the Buffet Line. Or wherever else you happen to be praying. That, or steal your stuff while you're praying to Jeebus/Mohammad/Anubis/The Great Ancient Dog of Ancient Ancientness.

Rant Over.