Why? A document involving questioning of various God-Theories of Singluar God religions: Prologue

Hello there. Today I'm here to talk about International Terrorism.

More specifically, why religion is a form of International Terrorism, and even more specifically: Why Westboro Church needs to be in a prison.

"Whats that?" you ask? Well, lets look at a broad term:

As defined by Google Dictionary: "terrorism practiced in your own country against your own people."

Lets target that a little more by defining just what terrorism itself is.

"the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear" (Definition from Princeton)

At their core, religions aim to garner followers they believe they are 'saving'. They did this, in the dark ages, by the edge of the sword and by religious leaders tipping their hands in politics to garner forced respect and obedience-- And people were more than willing to buy into it when silver-tongued preachers and prophets warn them that hell was the price to pay if obscure, self-serving rules to the church were not heeded.

Already, Religion is using the fear of pain and suffering of themselves and loved ones, if people do not flock to the church, giving money and other materials as "Tithe", or "giving back" to God. Assuming God, an all-powerful, all-knowing being that can communicate with man at will as seen with Noah and Moses and countless other cases in the old testament, you would think that this being would be capable of more than appeasing his prophets and preachers and missionaries.

And following this. Again, assuming that this being is an all powerful and all knowing creature:

• What created him? Where did he come from?
• Why is he the only one?
• Why is it is assumed he is male? or does he even have gender?
• Why can he not make himself known
• Why do his prophets have to rely on fear-mongering and false choice fallacies to convince people to worship him/her/it?

I'm choosing to look at the last item on this list first, since it pertains more to the statement I made at the start of the blog more than any other: Why do prophets use fear-mongering and false choice fallacy to convince people to worship.

And more to that point: Does this deity, again assuming it exists, even allow fear-inspired worshipers into his 'Paradise'? I assure you if you remove a majority of 'Muslims' from forced Islam nations, there would be at least some that said they only worshiped because they were forced to under the threat of the gun.

But, why would he? Because a prophet said 'Worship or die', and they chose living in fear rather than dying painfully? This is not a true worshiper, if anything, its heretical. However: Most religions don't point out the fact that their religion was spread by fear; and they themselves worship due to fear. Therefore, they have become terrorists- People who demand change out of individuals or the masses by fear of everlasting pain and violence.

They worship due to fear of hell. I'll end this prologue of whats to come with a quote from the late George Carlin:

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more."

-George Carlin

I don't accept Mediocrity, and neither should you.

You know what I hate?

I hate when mediocre people become famous for being mediocre, and more so, I hate the people that allow their children to look up and idolize these steaming piles of 'meh'.

You know who I'm talking about. Basically any singer in the 'Pop' genre today (Bieber, Willow Smith, Rebecca Black, ETC), a majority of Teen authors, most Rap artists...

The stream of mediocrity never ends.




I don't like to brag. I'm not a braggy person. But I consider myself a halfway decent author. And when I read the Twilight books- Yes, I read them, because unlike a majority of people, I read before I go BARGLTBLTBOKBATNATNA TURRIBLE. Anyway. During my reading of these books, I kept trying to figure out what was going on; I had no idea of the plot, etc.

It was the strangest thing, all the pages just said 'ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST'. I would rather read a book written by a Moose than read Twilight again. And that's saying something, because I hate moose.

What I'm getting at is: Stephenie Meyer can't write.

Hatred Safari: 'Scene'

I hate everyone. You know this, because you are here, reading this. If you didn't know this, you're probably one of today's topic: Scene.







Scene kids are, by definition:







"Obnoxious bitches that make Alex want to punch them in the face, burn them with a Torch, and stomp on their stomach until they cry and renounce their ways."







(Okay, that may only be my definition. It's still true.)







So, on today's Safari, we're going to examine a Scene kid. I sent a good friend out onto the field. We found only his journal:






6:00 AM: The scene kid Wakes up, and promptly applies as much Abecrombie and Finch cologne as he can without making himself tear up. He promptly considers how god damn Rad and Rebellious he is, not using Hollister cologne like everyone else.







9:00 AM: After three hours of doing jack-shit, The scene Kid wanders down stairs to fetch food. He promptly tells his mother how 'Conformist and Sheeple' she is for eating something that came from an animal.







He promptly eats a Bagel. Made with Egg Whites. Spineless Parent fails to point out this irony. I make note to do so for her when I am running over the Scene animal later.







11:00 AM: From 9:15 AM - 11:00 AM the Scene animal spends time on his looks. He looks something that just had a flailing fit of rage in a Tacky Clothes store. His jeans are so tight, I can tell everything in his pockets from glancing at him. He met his Dog outside. I mean Girlfriend.

She also has a horrible Spray Tan. I am frightened, for if I am discovered, I may be eaten, or worse.

2:00 PM: My God. They've been in Hot Topic for hours.

4:00 PM: So hungry.

6:00 PM: they are never leavi--

The journal of our Field Reporter ends here.

I am unsure what happened. But I am terrified.

I later caught up with a Scene Kid, and asked her if she had ever heard 'The Beatles'

She responded as below.

"Whats The Beatles?"

I responded as any sane man would. With a swift back-hand and a demand back to the kitchen. She cried a lot, but I'm sure it was just tears of joy with being enlightened. One of her sissy-friends tried to man-slap me, but I kicked him in the nuts and ran. I'm pretty sure the tautness of his pants made one pop.

The good news is, we can all understand the fact that Scene Kids do have a weakness. Any sign of physical violence will make them cry, call you a 'Violent Sheeple' and run to their Dads. Who, if they have a spine, will punch them in the face if they're male, and tell them to get a job. If they're female, their mothers will do this.

For the sake of Political Correctness.

On another note, before I leave you all. If another person tells me 'OH MY GOD LOL OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IZ FAEEEEEK' , I will punch them in the testicles. You have been warned. Just because he sucks as a President, doesn't make his Birth Cirtificate fake.

Herp.

Introducing the New State: The Midwest.

Warning: Contains sarcasm. Emails or comments describing why they aren't actually one big state, will be dragged into the next blog, and made fun of across the land.



















Have I ever mentioned how I think we have too many states?





Take for instance the Midwest. North Dakota, South Dakota, Kansas, Oklahoma, all that.









Why aren't they just one big state? They all produce basically the same product: Crops. What little tourism there is, is generated by people stopping at Gas Stations on their way to more interesting states, like Nevada, Hippie-Land, or North Mexico (Called by their Provinces, Arizona and New Mexico.)









To prove my point, here's a fancy diagram:

Yeah, you see that?

I got images now. Soon, its going to be charts and graphs.

As I was saying. Everything from the FAIL line, until Nevada, excluding Texas and North Mexico, shall become part of the new state: The Midwest. It can have such exciting tourist attractions as:

Mountains!
Rivers!
Corn!
Other Growing Stuff! (Literally watch it grow!)

Speaking of useless states, what is Alaska doing right now? Nothing, that's what. Nothing but hoarding its oil and biding its time, until it can slip out the door with no one noticing, like the guy who takes the last box of pizza at a party.

I've done research on this. The reason we aren't drilling for the oil is because apparently, there's a Protected Range there. It protects Caribou. Quite possibly the most useless animal in the world.

Do you know what Caribou are used for?

Jack. Shit.

Have you ever walked into somewhere and bought Caribou Steak? Caribou Legs? No. Because no one eats Caribou- At least, not the ones we're protecting. So we're protecting an animal that does nothing but sit on its fat rear all day and enjoy Federal protection.

Screw that. Lets drill the oil. And the Caribou with it.